29 October, 2011

caterwauling

Woken up by two feline duelists facing off mano-e-mano (erm... cato-e-cato) in the shrubbery below my window.
Context-free grammars and virtual memory schemes still buzzing around my head from last night's desperate attempts to salvage a retarded GPA.
Then a gamcha-pora parar lok came and chased them away, cursing about a broken slumber or something.

A slight nip early in the morning. Its autumn here, never Fall.

24 October, 2011


  There is a familiar coolness in the air in my city, a gentle nudge that this year too is drawing to its end.
  I had often mulled over shutting this blog down altogether, what with the sporadic posts, the endless repetition of things already said and realworld pressures in general. Haven't really written properly for ages.
  Still this place won't be shut down anytime in the near future: it is the only place that contains a large chunk of me. From the early days of 2004 (!),  of teenage, angst, existential drivel and ideals. Of epic-fantasy, sci-fi, my many (failed) muses and Bergman. The only place that records the heartfelt outbursts of those heady days.
 'Twas another lifetime...  as Dylan would've said, which he often did on this pile of html. Of no smartphones, or facebook or twitter. Where the people we met were fellow wayfarers in the New World of the blogosphere. Those days.

   A sense of closure somehow permeates this time. There were a lot of things that this blogger had beat his head against over time. And some of them actually worked out. I hoped (but, self-treacherously never believed) to contribute something to computer science that was meaningful, to have that idea aided by mentors and finally published. That was a seriously hoo-yah moment. :)
   The continuing work takes a toll on the random haphazard creative urges, but with passing childhood comes the realization that some compromises are in order. About a year back we managed to stage a play with friends - it was fun and crazy in a perfect mix; and it made for musing meetups every now and then on the JU campus. There are loads more to do but a semblance of focus is finally there.

  The imminent winter made me think of a lot of people around me that would be moving off too in no great time. Maybe there could've been a few more chitchats over coffee and ribbing about old time craziness. Then again, one had best subscribe to the Bard on exits and entrances to the stage.

 So here's a heartfelt "THANK YOU" to this blog and all those that stumbled 'pon it. It holds a lot of me that is now lost, like everyone's passing yesterdays.

   

18 October, 2011

let it all add up

Let this all add up. Somewhere. Somehow. 


A simple shaky prayer. With no pretense at subtlety.
 Like a tinned sardine in public buses, hanging half outside ferraric autos (yet eyeing the passing Audis) - the sweat slicked jam-packed mass that is no more human than the jumbled tumble of ants in their colony. Then.

 Like a tramp in Frosty mudtime, passing sedans laying their splashy tribute at scuffled feet, whizzing over potholed roads. Like trenches in the War. Vowing. Then.

 In the starkness of a lab, or the nerve-sapping drudgery of routine. Then.

 In the fumbling for tips after leaving restaurants, or the laser traced nights to chase off routine with routine. At blazing shop-fronts, at a life that is a sum-total of all the meagre bills. Unpaid. Half-paid. Vowing. Then.

 In the sway of the Metro, the guileless strip-lights and walks down broad promenades where other lives make merry. Then.

 In the solitude of friends, the warm rush of chatter to submerge and dream. Of face-smile-form-eye-lashes-breath carven in like friezes I've never seen. In the lusty gusts of sudden storms that ruffle thoughts to soar unbound. Then!

 In those oh-so-frequent rambles down memory  lanes, where all personae blur and merge. In the incessant fight to stay more than afloat. Of hopes that quests may still be there for faltering knights in rusty armor. Then.

Let this all add up. Somewhere. Somehow. 

07 October, 2011

Goodbye and back to work

 This was an interesting time every year for a Bengali in Calcutta - the immersion of the Durga idol to much fanfare and "asche bochor abar hobe" - "so long til the next year".

   Also, a brief farewell to the man who inspired countless technology enthusiasts. Basu's blogpost put it succinctly  -

I was hoping to meet him in person one day. But now I’m going to get back to work. Life is short.
 That is definitely the best legacy a person could leave behind.
   Back to work for the rest of us too.

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